Hey! Wanna know a secret? I just farted and it stinks…like really bad! Grimy, I really gotta stop eating all this Drewberry bread. It makes me so gassy.
Heh, but what’s the saying you guys got in the Constant World? “Beans, beans, the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot.” I guess we have one here in Val’ Terra. “Nothing like the taste of Drewberry Bread, but it’ll give you gas that’ll raise the dead.”
And with that, I will introduce myself. I’m Grayson Grummel; kid extraordinaire and founding member of the Gruesome Twosome. You mighta recognized our work when you entered the city…the name on the walls to be exact (Furtayman = FARTayman). But don’t say nothing to anyone. I know who you are and where you live, and I will send the wrath of a thousand…Okay, okay. You got me. No I don’t know where you live, and I can’t really send a curse down upon you. But still don’t say anything. Please! My best friend Cremmel and I think it’s really funny.
My dad runs Grummel’s Potion Shoppe in the Spellcaster District. He’s a pretty cool guy. I love him. But don’t tell him that. You know how it is…us teenagers can’t really let our parents know we think they’re cool people.
Wait a sec! Did you just say what I think you did? You did, didn’t you? You just said you didn’t realize I was a teenager. Grimy! I can’t tell you how annoying that is. Everyone thinks I’m ten. I get it alright. I know I’m small and have freckles. But I’m fifteen alright. So give me a little credit here. Gimme a chance.
Anyways, as I was saying I’m a Spellcaster, and maybe one day I’ll be able to take over my dad’s shop. I’ve spent the last two years as an apprentice and I’m learning what I can. I mean I’m at the age where I really should start thinking about my future. My dad gave me his copy of Peter Paine’s Perfect Potion Precepts…Manifesto…Guide. (I told my buddy, Orion, I think the dude couldn’t settle on the title. Haha.) But Potions are alright I guess, so it just seems like the right thing to do-take over for my Pop. It’s either that, or maybe hang with Owen (my dad’s best friend) and join F.L.E.A.R. (I like to call them the Fun-Stoppers since all they seem to do nowadays is go around breaking up rowdy parties, or scolding kids for being kids). I wish they had a job where you could get paid to make people laugh. Like get up in front of a crowd and tell jokes and stuff. That’d be sweet! Ugh. Maybe one day. A boy can dream.
I’m a big fan of your world, the Constant World. I’m completely fascinated by the machines you got over there. It’s like what you lack in magic, you make up with mechanical devices. Orion brought me to his house one day, and showed me something called a car. He said you get in them and they take you places. I mean we have our own modes of transportation like Transportation Potions, if magic can reach it I mean. Orion said he’ll take me in one when he gets his…I think he called it a Permit, whatever that is. And the kitchens. Grimy, I don’t even know where to begin with the stuff you guys have in your kitchens. Unbelievable.
Okay, I s’pose that’s enough of my ramblin’ for one day. I’ll catch ya later.