Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum, I smell the blood of a mangy Nequam! I’ve put your name on my list to have a special meeting with my fist!
Did I scare you? I’m just playin’. My name is Owen. I thought it would be kinda funny to pull out the whole angry giant card as a little joke. I know my size (just an inch and three quarters shy of seven feet to be exact) tends to come off as a little threatening, so I thought it’d work. I get a good ol’ kick outta playing a few jokes every now and then.
I’m a born and raised Furtayman – my pop was one of the founding members of F.L.E.A.R. Oh you don’t know what F.L.E.A.R. is? It’s theFurtayman Law Enforcement of All Races and we police the streets of this great city. I’m actually part of F.L.E.A.R. myself, and I can proudly say we are enjoying our longest time of racial peace and tranquility in the last five hundred years. In fact we haven’t had any major crimes or tragedies in nearly sixty eight years. I like to think I may’ve had something to do with it. I knew at a young age I didn’t care to follow my siblings into banking or lawyering (which is where most Fangtooths end up) and instead follow my pop’s footsteps in hopes of keeping things safe for our children. They’re our future after all. I kinda have a special place for them in my heart.
Every year, I gather a bunch of kids together and make them honorary F.L.E.A.R. agents for a day. I take them around the city and show them things they wouldn’t normally get to see. They really enjoy it, but I may I enjoy it more.
Sorry about that, I seem to have lost my train of thought. Oh right, F.L.E.A.R. It’s comprised of locals from each race in Furtayman (Paranormals, Fangtooths, Razorbacks, and Spellcasters) with a few others sprinkled in (some StoneHides, FireEaters, and Dragonites to name a few). It was founded a little over a hundred years ago by Chief Eagramen in an attempt to clean up the streets. Since its creation, races have begun to venture into other districts with confidence, knowing they’d be protected so long as they didn’t cause any trouble.
Anywho, getting back to me. If there’s anything I like talking about more than F.L.E.A.R., it’s about me. I’m a Fangtooth and I live in the Fangtooth District with my beautiful wife, Wren. Oh, something you should definitely know about me – there’s not enough sweets in both our worlds combined for me. My best friend, Chester Grummel (you may’ve met him already), says I’m a “Fangtooth with a sweet tooth.” I visit Puffywangle’s Bakery so often they actually have a selection on their menu called The Owen – it’s one cherry licorice tart, a slice of glazed buttonroot bread, two vanilla cream torts, and a large cup of cinnamon-spiced juice called Frostfruit Nectar. Mmm, the tummy’s rumbling just thinkin’ about it.Actually…yeah, I gotta go. I need to feed this new craving now before it turns into a beast I can’t control. Perhaps I’ll pick some up for the Grummels. I love those guys.
Alright, have a good one. And remember this as it just might save your life; if you ever hear the walls shaking and feel the ground rumbling beneath you, it’s probably just me. Haha. Bye.